ARC Review: Waterfell by Amalie Howard

THE GIRL WHO WOULD BE QUEEN

Nerissa Marin hides among teens in her human form, waiting for the day she can claim her birthright—the undersea kingdom stolen from her the day her father was murdered. Blending in is her best weapon—until her father's betrayer confronts Nerissa and challenges her to a battle to the death on Nerissa's upcoming birthday—the day she comes of age. 

Amid danger and the heartbreak of her missing mother, falling for a human boy is the last thing Nerissa should do. But Lo Seavon breaches her defenses and somehow becomes the only person she can count on to help her desperate search for her mother, a prisoner of Nerissa's mortal enemy. Is Lo the linchpin that might win Nerissa back her crown? Or will this mortal boy become the weakness that destroys her?

Title: Waterfell
Author: Amalie Howard
Series: Waterfell #1
Publisher: Harlequin Teen
Publication Date: October 29th 2013

Rating: 1 star

Thoughts:

Forgiveness releases the forgiver.

Oh, Waterfell. I was so excited when I saw that Harlequin Teen had approved me to read this e-ARC. "Maybe it's finally a decent mermaid book," I thought. "Maybe this is the book I've been waiting for." I couldn't have been more wrong. Just look at the rating - one lonely star.

I disliked the book right off the bat. Nerissa is playing a field hockey game, sees a great pass, and refuses to play it because she dislikes the girl to whom she should play the pass. See, I've played field hockey. If you see a pass, if you see anything that could help the game, you do it. Personal preferences or petty fights don't matter on the field - it's you and your team against the other team. Without teamwork, you're nowhere. Not to mention that the girl, Cara, who is painted as the mean girl, actually never does anything to Nerissa except glare at her. In the whole novel. Like, whoa, I can see why you're archenemies! *cough cough* Yes, Nerissa apologizes to Cara later in the novel, but I don't think she ever really meant it. She just apologized to be done with it, not because she truly felt sorry.

Then a new guy arrives at Nerissa's school. He's called Lo. This is where the eye-bleeding stuff starts. Guess... They fall in insta-love! Hurray! Nerissa lays her eyes on Lo and feels tingles, feels alive, feels yada yada yada. Oh, she denies she feels anything for him, yet she doesn't stop thinking about him. Ever. Just read for yourself:

Lo smiles. I force myself not to notice that his teeth are whiter than I remember or to acknowledge the tiny response that makes my ears feel like they're melting into unrecognizable nubs.

And:

"Hey, Cara," Lo says to her with a smile that could melt butter.

Apart from Lo's smile, that's apparently extremely beautiful, what kind of writing is this? His smile can melt butter? What is he, a microwave?

Fighting my stupid reaction to his buttery voice, (...)

So his voice is buttery too. How can a voice even be buttery? This defintely falls into Edward Cullen's 'velvety'-voice category.  Anyway, later on they kiss and then they're in wuuve! It's like magic, people. And they have, like, the best conversations evah: (am I being too snarky? Hehe)

"It's just Jenna. She thinks you've kidnapped me and are forcing me to go all Fifty Shades on you."

"It wouldn't be forcing, would it?" Lo says, and I elbow him in the side, blushing.

 Do people flirt like this? It just feels unnatural. This also seems like a good point to introduce Jenna: Nerissa's best friend. Now, I'm glad Jenna isn't the slutty bitch most 'best friends' seem to be lately, but she, too, is unnatural. She's apparently a total nerd and knows everything about everything. Let me tell you a little about myself. I'm a nerd. I'm smart (not all the time, though) and I score good on IQ tests. Me and my friends are usually top of the class: we all get good grades. I'm not saying all this to brag (and believe me, I can be extremely stupid!), but to illustrate a point. While I like learning and getting good grades and all, I'm not a walking encyclopedia. Nor are any of my friends (and believe me, especially one of them is extremely smart). Sure, there are a few topics that I know more than the average about, but they're specific and small topics. My friends and I do not know every little detail about every subject that exists. It seems, however, that Jenna does. She's extremely convenient when it comes to the plot: if something needs explaining, she'll be there! Except when it would actually make sense to say to Nerissa that she's being dumb. Like here:

"What did you tell him?" Jenna asks, sitting next to me. "That we're moving to South Africa."

"That far?"

"It has to be far," I say. "And remote, with no internet. (...)

Excuse me while I laugh at your ignorance. What's the reasoning behind this? "Some parts of Africa are poor, so they have no internet"? If I Google "south africa hotel with wifi" I get several sites with several hotels, that all have internet. But does Jenna correct Nerissa? No she doesn't. She's probably too busy preparing her speech on the finer details of genetics, because she knows all about that. God, this all is just so stupid.

Just a warning: from here on there will be spoilers. If you want to know what irked me without getting spoiled, only read the last paragraph of this review. 

This book is predictable and Nerissa is dumb. So, from the second we meet Lo, I guessed he was Aquarathi and probably associated with Ehmora. Guess what? I was right! But Nerissa only finds out when he spells it out for her, even though he told her his name is Lotharius. Like, that's a common human name! He was acting all shady and plotting and Nerissa just couldn't see what was right in front of her. God, I was so frustrated. All the plot twists were predicatble, yet Nerissa is like 'blew my mind' over and over again. It made her look really stupid. And I just... Come on, his name was Lotharius! Nerissa should recognize a name that clearly came from Waterfell, right?

In all, I was heavily disappointed. Full of info-dumping, instant love and predictability, Waterfell just fell short for me. The only good point was Nerissa and Jenna's friendship, which was healthy and based on mutual respect. Unfortunately, Jenna was too busy being smart and Nerissa was too busy making Cara's life hell. The final verdict: did not like at all.

Thank you, Harlequin Teen, for providing me with a digital galley of this book. No money or favors were exchanged to alter this review.