Chapter-by-Chapter Review: Of Poseidon by Anna Banks

Chapter by chapter review of Of Poseidon!
See the reviews of the previous chapters here.

Chapter nine and ten

I'll be doing my very first chapter-by-chapter review. Yes yes, y'all. Quite obviously, since I'll be discussing each chapter in depth, there will be spoilers. Beware!

Okay, so Emma has a weird kind of stroke or something. Galen catches her, carries her to the couch, and lets her lie down on his lap. Isn't that romantic? Especially when Emma says that he can put her down and he says: "I'm not ready yet." She asks it again and he won't let her go. What the actual fuck? He's not ready to let go? Emma just almost passed out and she wants him to put her down. Maybe she wanted to lie down because it was more comfortable, or because she just didn't want him to hold her? But oh, no, he's not ready, so he won't let go. For once I actually agree with Emma:

"Jackass."

 Then Emma wakes up, and more what-the-actual-fuckery is going on. Toraf (the unbelievable asshole that just assumes he can do anything, like the mermaid version of marrying Rayna without her knowing) and Rayna are with her. Toraf asks Emma if he can get her anything (like food, water) and Rayna asks if Emma wants a taxi. Apparently this was really rude. Okay, she could have asked it differently, but it was entirely possible that Emma wanted to go home, right? I would want to if I'd passed out and everything, actually. But no, she's being rude, and Toraf says this:

"Go to the kitchen, Rayna," he says.

'Cause that's were women belong, eh?

NO. Get out, you fucking asshole. GET OUT.

 Emma also comments on how the kitchen must me far away, because Rayna 'stomps for a good five minutes'. Excuse me? Do they live in an effing palace? Five minutes is a long time to get from point A in a house to point B. A long, long time. In fact, I sincerely doubt there are any houses of normal or even big proportions that would have a room so far away. The only reason the kitchen would be a five-minutes' walk away would be if they did, in fact, live in a castle/palace. However, I'm sure Emma would've remarked on the fact that they live in a castle, and she didn't, so I'm going to assume they live in a normal house. Am I nitpicking? Totally, but this actually does bother me.



Hmm, actually nothing offending happens in this chapter. It's possible! Emma and Rayna get into a fight because of Rayna being rude (except this time she actually was), and it takes up pretty much the whole chapter. They get into the water, Emma feels weird, and Galen says that it's time for her to know her secret. Then he takes off into the water, taking Emma with him. DUN DUN DUN. That's where the chapter ends. So really, I don't have much to say about it. But I guess all the ranting about chapter 9 was plenty, so there you go. No angry rants come with this chapter!

Chapter-by-Chapter Review: Of Poseidon by Anna Banks

Chapter by chapter review of Of Poseidon!
See the reviews of the previous chapters here.

Chapter seven and eight

I'll be doing my very first chapter-by-chapter review. Yes yes, y'all. Quite obviously, since I'll be discussing each chapter in depth, there will be spoilers. Beware!

In this chapter, Emma decides she needs to get on with her life and starts getting ready for school. This is also the moment when Emma's mom is being a total jerk to her own daughter. Emma wants to go to school and her mom wants to drive her - which is fine, good actually, since Emma has a concussion. But apparently her mom's reason for wanting to drive Emma is because she thinks she's dating Galen because the principal said they looked 'intimate'. Um, okay? I'm not sure why one would be unable to drive to school because they're in a relationship, but that could be just me. However, Emma's mom is being really quite mean and about to ground Emma for really no reason at all. She's also stubborn and - sorry for saying it - being downright dumb. From what the book's told me so far, Emma is apparently the ultimate good girl: doesn't lie, does do her homework, etc. So why her mother suddenly thinks that Emma is lying when she clearly isn't is a mystery to me. I mean, if she knows her daughter at all, she would know that Emma isn't lying about such a serious issue, right? I do not understand this woman.

After Emma storms off and goes to school, she - inevitably - runs into Galen. When their arms accidentally touch, her blood "turns into boiling water". Once again, I get that someone can be really hot and that you can crush on someone for no reason at all, but really? All her reactions to him seem way too explosive. Also:

I turn to face him. My dreams really do not do him justice. 

His smile could land him a cover shoot for any magazine in the country. 

Emma is starting to remind me of Bella Swan with all her 'he's so incredibly gorgeous, no angel/dream/god can ever be better than him'. Do you know any people who are so incredibly gorgeous that all you want to do is stare at them? That is a serious question. I know some pretty people, sure, but to be honest, I haven't met anyone who's drop-dead-gorgeous. Maybe I just live in the wrong area, though, haha.

Final note: can Emma please stop saying "ohmysweetgoodness"?


Wah wah wah. I think in this chapter - Galen and Emma go to the beach together - I'm supposed to enjoy their conversation - or can I call it banter? - but I really don't. Galen is coming across as a jerk and Emma a naive and blushing idiot. During their stupid conversation, Galen thinks this:

Does she feel the voltage between them, too? Who cares, idiot? She belongs to Grom. Or are you going to let a few sparks keep you from uniting the kingdoms?

Or in other words: doomed love. How very romantic and original. I wonder when all the angst will start.

Then they go to Emma's house so Galen can introduce himself and convince Emma's mom that he and Emma aren't dating. (Fun fact: I accidentally wrote "darting". Now wouldn't that have been an interesting plot twist.) I see a flaw in this plan, but okay. He and Emma's mom shake hands, Emma introduces him, et cetera. The eyes of Emma's mother widen, probably because Galen is unbelievably hot, and she takes Emma upstairs, leaving Galen on his own in the living room. I'm sorry, but is this supposed to be interesting? Something useful better happens now, otherwise this chapter is completely useless.

Okay, something happened, and I want to bang my head against the wall. This book is so stupid. Emma leaves the room and her mom interrogates Galen. He tells her he and Emma are dating so the time they are going to spend together won't raise any suspicion and so Emma's mom won't spy on them. Right. The rest of their conversation basically revolves around whether he had sex with Emma. Right again. Otherwise, Emma's mom is extremely bossy and annoying. I get it, she's trying to protect her daughter, but she does it in such a manner that I;m really starting to dislike her. That could be the point, though.

Chapter-by-Chapter Review: Of Poseidon by Anna Banks

Chapter by chapter review of Of Poseidon!
See the reviews of the previous chapters here.

Chapter five and six

I'll be doing my very first chapter-by-chapter review. Yes yes, y'all. Quite obviously, since I'll be discussing each chapter in depth, there will be spoilers. Beware!

(Can you tell I'm having fun with fonts, by the way? Because I am. Very much.)




I'm pretty surprised: this chapter is actually decent! Emma is grieving Chloe and feels pretty numb. It's actually sort of believable, and no rage-inducing things happened. But - and this is an important but - Galen goes to the same school as Emma. He has the exact same classes. And he, of course, is staring at Emma all throughout class. And, of course, the teacher told him to sit next to Emma for the rest of the week (at least). How very surprising. As soon as Galen sits down next to Emma, she feels tingles. While I know it's probably some kind of mermaid we-can-sense-each-other thing, it's remarkably close to insta-love. Of course, Emma also has problems concentrating on the class because of Galen's nearness. Now, and this is an actual, serious questions, have any of you ever experienced that? Not being able to concentrate on anything except your crush/boyfriend/hot person next to you?

In this chapter, we also find out Emma's last name. Now, you could say I'm nitpicking because I obviously already hate this book, but her last name is McIntosh. Is it just me, or does that sound dangerously like Macintosh? Did Banks not realize this, or does she perhaps have a preference for Apple products? Or was this because she had no inspiration? Now, if it's an actual, commonly used name, please ignore this paragraph. Since I live in the Netherlands, I'm not really familiar with American/English/Australian last names. So, if it's actually normal, please correct me.



Okay, this chapter is rage-inducing. We're with Galen and the unnatural writing style again (no, I will not let that go. It's weird.) and he meets up with his sister, Rayna. Then throw a guy named Toraf into the mix. This guy. I hate him already. Apparently he's Rayna's mate, and she doesn't want him. He says that he's followed her around since they were little kids, which is not sweet but creepy. And then, Rayna explains how she didn't want to be mated because it would take her freedom away, and that she told Toraf so. What happened? He became her mate. Now isn't that nice of him. That's not all. Rayna yells at him because of this - which is perfectly understandable, if you ask me - and everyone treats her like a joke or a little kid that's throwing a tantrum. What? Her freedom is apparently taken by a guy she doesn't want, and they laugh it off. This is a serious issue, and they treat her like that? SMH. And even worse is that Rayna will probably fall for Toraf in the end and have a HEA, without ever mentioning this again. And oh my God, it's even worse. Apparently, Toraf had the two of them mated without her knowing of it. This guy is SUCH a jerk, I want to punch him in the face. How dare he do something like that? And Galen is just grinning and thinking that it's funny. I am SO angry right now, you don't even know. Oh my God, I am so angry. I wish they would all die now.

After that there's a huge info dump , and I don't even care because I am still ANGRY. Also, speshul snowflake Emma has violet eyes. And apparently, Galen has 'bonded' with Emma. Which basically means INSTANT LOVE.

Chapter-by-Chapter Review: Of Poseidon by Anna Banks

Chapter by chapter review of Of Poseidon!
See the reviews of the previous chapters here.

Chapter three and four

I'll be doing my very first chapter-by-chapter review. Yes yes, y'all. Quite obviously, since I'll be discussing each chapter in depth, there will be spoilers. Beware!

I splash enough water in Chloe's face to put out a small house fire. I don't want to drown her, just exfoliate her eyeballs with sea salt.

I know, our dearest Emma is just being 'funny', but she really irks me. In fact, this quote is pretty  accurate in terms of my feelings for the protagonist so far. She's just funny-not-funny and annoying. Sigh. I hope it'll get better, but somehow, I doubt it...

And back to the black best friend, who I actually sort of liked. But here we go, she's pretty stereotypical already. Only talking about sex, fake nails, etc. Guess what just happened? SHE GOT EATEN BY A SHARK. RAGE. The only good thing about this book so far, the only diversity, GOT EATEN BY A SHARK. It's official. I hate this book.

A Galen-POV chapter again, which means that I immediately dislike it. It just feels so incredibly unnatural, like the author is talking to little kids or something. "Galen doesn't have time to wait for any adolescent savior." "Galen stops." Et cetera. I mean, is it just me or does this sound like a little kid's bedtime story?

This chapter also brings on the insta-love again. Galen sees Emma's friend being eaten by a shark, and the only thing he can think of is how "breathtaking" Emma is.

Breathtaking? Rayna's right - you've lost your mind!

At least he's right about that.

When we're a little farther into the chapter, Emma's snowflake-ness is being established. She just told the shark to go away  and it listened to her, which completely baffled Galen. Oh yes, Emma's so very special (and just like every other special-snowflake YA heroine).

The chapter ends with Galen considering to kidnap Emma. All in a joking manner of course, but that isn't the kind of stuff you joke about. Just the fact that he thinks about it sort of creeps me out.

Chapter-By-Chapter Review: Of Poseidon by Anna Banks

Chapter by chapter review of Of Poseidon!

Chapter one and two

I'll be doing my very first chapter-by-chapter review. Yes yes, y'all. Quite obviously, since I'll be discussing each chapter in depth, there will be spoilers. Beware!



I'm on the first page and this book annoys me already. Our main character just bumped into someone and starts thinking about the utter humiliation of the situation instead of just saying sorry like a normal person. I mean, I get it, she's probably socially awkward. Guess what? So am I! And if I bumped into someone, I just say 'sorry'! It's not that hard. Instead, our MC considers running away, but she can't due to her 'intoxicated walrus' clumsiness. Then she considers pretending to faint.  Then she hopes for a deadly lightning bolt. My God, it's not that bad! Oh yes, this book and I will get along well, I can already feel that.
*reads further*

Oh great, now she feels all tingly because his hands are on her shoulders -.- Can we say love interest already? Yes? Oh, and he's apparently 'the most attractive guy on the planet'. Good to know.

But hey, her best friend is black! At least that's something positive!

Annnnd we're back to the love interest. Again, her skin's all tingly when he touches her... Can I already call this insta-love, or what? And Emma, our main character, is so freaking annoying. Ugh. I'm not kidding, just look:

And I meet my treshold for embarrassment. Tripping is bad enough. Tripping into someone is much worse. But if that someone has a body that could make sculpted statues jealous - and thinks you've broken your nose on one of his pecs - well, that's when tripping runs a distant second to humane euthanasia.

What? Am I supposed to find this funny, or what? And seriously, tripping into somebody isn't that bad, no matter how hot he is. Show of hands: who of you has thoughts like this after tripping into somebody? I most certainly don't.

And we continue. Emma remarks Galen (the LI) isn't very good at small talk. I'm wondering why he is making small talk at all. Who introduces their family and makes small talk to someone who just bumped into you? I'd say 'it's okay', wish them a nice day and then walk on. But no, they have a conversation. And look! The Love interest has a special eye color, which is similar to the protagonist's. How strange. Wonder why that would be! (Okay, I'll try to lessen the sarcasm. Sorry not sorry, it just comes naturally to me)



Uh oh, in this chapter there's a POV switch. We read the first chapter in first person, narrated by Emma. Now the point of view switches to third person, focussed on Galen. The writing felt really unnatural, especially since it's written in present tense. A quote to prove my point:

Dr. Milligan is one of the only humans Galen trusts.

It feels off to me, and strange. If it stays like this throughout the novel, I'm going to have a hard time connecting with it...

Galen is also already obsessed with Emma. He's thinking about her, muttering things about her and apparently her lips 'knocked the breath out of him'. Yeah right. This is going to be fantastic. *sigh*

And oh my God. This really IS fantastic!! I was casually reading and *bam*. The names of the Syrena are RIDICULOUS. This is going to be fun! Bahahahahhaa, there's a character named "Grom". FYI, that's Dutch for 'growl'. LOL. And now there's someone named Toraf. Awesome! *collapses, laughing*

That's it for today! Did you read this book? What did you think? Come back later for reviews of Chapter 3 and 4!